memebuscemi:

memebuscemi:

apparantly soulja boy made a song about kony amazing

image

(via he1lno)

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via i-was-a-teenage-potato)

  • me: i am actually so happy with my life right now for once
  • next day: *everything fucks up*

breakfastburritoe:

in first grade we had to write down our favorite ice cream flavor and the whole class put cookie dough so i put cookie dough bc peer pressure and then we were asked to color in an ice cream scoop with our favorite flavor and i had no clue what cookie dough was so i colored it blue and the class made fun of me and then some kid ate a napkin

(via teganquinruinedmylife)

arc520:

darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

image

(via worshippingidols)

fukkkres:

white mom: quit roughhousing!

white son: fuck u mom

white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?

white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!

white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*

(via weavemunchers)